so ... that's it?

I've got a bit of a mood lately, and today it's too much to hide it - mostly because I'm anxious.

Now why? Because I've been to the doctor 2 days ago - hate to see doctors, but I wanted to have my hemogram (blood count) taken so that I know when I'm 35 and they find anything, that it has been okay when I was 23. Duh.

Okay, wehat do I expect? Normal yet in the high ranges for cholersterol and triglycerides - fat values to you. Why? Because I don't just eat carrots (although I love carrots), and I've been on the chubby side of life for like ever. I did slim down when I was 18, like 20 kg in 2 months, in like what in retrospect was a huge "I'm out of puperty but HELP ME!" cry - and no one said anything. Like it is normal that an 18 year old suddenly looses nearly a quarter of her weight. Yes, I did eat nearly nohting for two months. I had a lot of blanks, too, that's why I started eating afterwards again, and within 4 years I had made up for that again ;)
Then my parents started their divorce, and I gained ... a lot. Steadiliy I might sa,y with stress at work and not time for sports / practice - go figure. But I've always been healthy, I gain weight becvause I eat too much, but not fast food or just fat things. I'm just too good a food utilizer. Come the next ice age I will be a survivor for sure ;)
Just three years ago I stopped going to the gym regularly, but until then I've had good pulse, low blood preasure, and all. Just a little too chunky, but healthy enough, thank you.

So two days ago I venture into the doctor's (internist) lair, already a bit peeved - I hate it when skiiny docs look at me like I'm an alien. I'm not that fat! Until recently I've been doing more sports than most skinny girls my ago, so please, give me some credit. So I'm not very happy to start with, then he does some tests, ultra sound and so on, and I'm a bit short of breath because he keeps pushing the ultra sound thingy very hard into my lower abdomen. He has me sit up, takes my blood preasure - and it's like 190/100. 190!! I don't even know anyone who ever had that high a blood pressure. And what does that man do? Hands me, 23 yera old gal, blood pressure reducing pills, and sends me to take my blood count this week. I was just so dumbfounded that I didn't even say another word about it, and at home like mechanicall too a pill.

And then started the five worth hours of my life. Me having high blood pressure? For sure not then.- I was not able to read, to knit, not even plain stockinette, and not able to follow CSI on TV. I just sta in front of the TV and felt like dying, with my heart pounding and the world taking spins around me. When I wnet to bed it only got worse, and I was up and reading til 3 a.m.. Then things got better, but even now, 1.5 days later, I still feel a little weird. And why? because I did not need that crap, and it sunk my normal blood pressure into the ground!!

I'm surely not going back to that doctor, even if my bf thinks he is a good doctor. That guy should have let me calm down in the waiting room for 10 minutes, and my levels would have been normal. Heck, 1 year ago there were normal!
But I went to get my blood count today, and if everything's fine I'll go visit my General practitioner next week and tel him about that. I'm just freaked out still. I mean, who can anyone justify that behaviour? Just because I'm fat I have to have high blood pressure, so I need meds? I mean my pressure cannot be that high when the woman taking my samples today needed like 1.5 minutes to fill 4 vials. With high pressure that should be spritzing out like ... whatever (I love "spritz" - I also saw it last week on a cosmetic spray, it#s so funny to see german words in english language).